Last week I talked about starting the Bikini Rebellion
and today is day 8 and I’m going strong.Yesterday’s challenge was the hardest by far. Up until then it has been about sharing thoughts and photos of whatever I want. Acceptance of one’s self at all stages of fitness and weight is the theme of this project and it has been a challenge every day.
I’ve had a bad body image for my whole life and fixing that isn’t so easy. It has stopped me from being free, loving life, and having fun. I have had to look deep and express myself in a forum of other lovely women. Sometimes the expressions are very exposing and I was not expecting the support from these other women that I have received. Some of them are very fit looking and I have thought that I didn’t belong in the group with them. How could someone, with actual abs, doing a handstand in the sand while wearing a teenie bikini have anything in common with me? I have come to realize that MANY of us have that insane inner voice that says, “I’m not good enough”; it was eye opening for me to realize that someone with a hot bod can feel that way too.
So back to yesterday’s Bikini Rebellion challenge; we were to wear a bikini while doing some type of activity and post a picture of it! Scary business!
“Things you can do in a bikini: Anything you damn well please.”-Jen Sinkler
ALL day I fretted about this. I didn’t HAVE to post anything, no one was forcing me, and I had the power to say NOPE! But in the end, I felt like I would have let myself down if I didn’t do it. I posted a little montage of me doing lunges with 10lb dumbbells and yes, I wore a bathing suit. I don’t own a bikini so I wore a tankini. I refused to look too closely at the pictures, just assembled them and posted and wrote my feelings on the subject and clicked SHARE. I received an outpouring of support and high fives but more importantly I felt like I had had a little breakthrough. I CAN show myself in public wearing a swim suit without feeling like I have to lose 15 lbs first. I am working to lose that weight and get into better shape but the bathing suit police won’t arrest me in the meantime. I sure wish I could let the younger me know but, I can only look forward.
– Anonymous Mom
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